[Story] Attitude meets Arrogance – S01 E40

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 40

Ciara’s POV

Finally the D-day was here…The fashion studio was filled with madness, organised madness but madness nevertheless…

Some dancers were late and the model didn’t show up as she called in sick. It was hell of a day..

“Ciara???”Jaxon grabbed my arm when he noticed I was running around like a mad person..

“Jaxon, this is not the time…” I rolled my eyes..

“Calm down or you will go crazy. Everything is going to be fine…”He beamed…

“Jaxon, it’s not the time…” I dropped his hand and when I was about to get back to business he whispered something that tore my insides into two…

“I really miss you…I wish we could re-live the Maasai Mara moments once again…”

“Don’t to this, we both know we are hurting but the reality is you are not mine…” I walked away…

*******

I could see people waiting in the line ready to go into the concert

. There was a thrill of excitement in the air unlike in the backstage..

It was packed with dancers, musicians, stylists and hairdressers….

I was busy getting Jaxon ready privately and the silence between us was awkward…

“Are we going to live like this??? You ignoring me????”

“Jaxon let me do my job, that’s what you pay me to do…”

“But..” He took my hands in his, “I thought we promised to always be friends…”

“Do you think it’s not hard for me to act friendly and all I want is kiss you so bad??? If I can’t have you then I have to stay away from you…”

“Do you think it’s also easy???” He walked closer to me and begun c*ressing my cheeks, “I wish it were different. If you didn’t marry my brother I would have fought for you…”

“I wish I had a time travel machine, i would have gone back in time and made you all mine Jaxon…” We brushed our noses, feeling each other’s presence…

Letting the moment be unforgettable as I allowed him to feel my skin as much as he needed because it sounded more of a goodbye…

“Thank you for choosing me and loving me but I don’t know what the future holds…” His eyes were stung with tears…

“Thank you too for never giving up on me…”

Unlike him I couldn’t fight my tears…

He caged me into his arms and I didn’t want to let go until Jordan got into the room…

“What’s happening here???” He asked but we were both lost in our emotions…

“Goodbye Ciara….”

“Please don’t say that….” I pleaded…

“This is our reality my love…” He kissed me on the cheek and left…

“Ciara, what’s going on???” Jordan asked but I chose to ignore him.

I know I had to be strong and act like everything was okay but deep down I was breaking..I felt like someone was sucking life out me…

For once, I felt like he meant his goodbye…He seemed he was ready to let go but I wasn’t.

I thought I could do this but now i wasn’t sure…

“Ciara, why are you crying????” He asked once more…

“It’s over Jordan, you won..I don’t know if I can keep my promise.

. How can I look after you while I am breaking inside???” I sobbed…

“But you promised,” He cupped my cheeks but I pulled back…

“I don’t know what to do anymore, I just want go disappear….” I turned the other way and continued with my crying…It felt like I was mourning…

Jordan wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and squeezed me tightly. Maybe I needed it, maybe it was a reminder that he was my reality. But was I ready to live with that reality???

“Jordan, I can’t do this…” I dropped his hands from my waist and ran out of there…

I went to peep at the crowd and they seem a little bored…Suddenly there was an activity onstage and the lights dimmed on the first artist…

The crowd went wild, jumping, pushing and headbanging but it wasn’t soothing at all…

So I went back to where all the drama is..The back stage. Jaxon manager had to deal with egos of some of the biggest stars…

Venue employees who pretend to be stars to trick the fans…The musicians who complain not to get enough attention…

The dancers who have to change every now and then and have no time to do their make up right.. The make-up artist who runs up and down…It was crazy but the fun kind of crazy…

Jordan, Sebastian and Sophie were in the VVIP section with other celebrities and prominent people, VIP section was for those who didn’t have the energy to sing along or dance and finally the other section which was for every tom, dick and harry…The energy here was superb but watch out, it gets wild at times..

I helped the stylist get the artists ready as others were patiently waiting for their turn in the green room..

The green room was a magical place where artists hang out before getting up on stage.

Suddenly a girl who looks barely 19years old catwalks into the green room like a boss and ten minutes someone is shouting and I heard…

“But you said you would!!! Don’t do this to me..”

There is more shoutings…

“Get out of here…Who said you would come here…” The security guards drag her out of there…

Even though I am a little sad, hanging out in the backstage always lightens up your mood…Odd things always tend to happen..

Different artist perform but I only watch when Jaxon is on stage feeling a little jealous when he has to touch touch other girls…

I always knew the concert would be a success but I never imagined alot of people would show up especially fellow artists to support their own..It felt amazing..

Finally there was still time for wacky faces, some fiercely glam looks and unforgettable photo bombs…

It was the last performance by Jaxon and the crowd had the same energy throughout the night..

His last song was different and new..It was a song that made the crowd move in a bizarre alternative dance..

He sat on a stool and took a guitar…

“This song is for a special one who made me understand what it meant to really love. She is my inspiration…”

I could feel my heart beat so fast, I knew it was a song about me but I had to act all cool…

The path seemed dark

All hope was lost

I didn’t know that you would be the one to make me believe in love.

My love my inspiration

My reason that I live

I would moved mountains for you

And drain all the oceans

I know she ain’t you

You knew you ain’t her

But you did all you could do

To make me fall in love again

My love my inspiration

My light and dark

I will hold you hand to eternity

And remind you of your worth

Don’t dim lights, I wanna see your face…

Don’t feel shy to me you look beautiful

I will hold you in my arms

And keep telling how much you mean to me.

My love my inspiration

My happiness and joy

You bring tears to my eyes

Everytime I see you smile…

When he was still singing, I felt tears on my cheeks remembering he had ever told me I was his inspiration..

Then this girl who looked like a model wearing a ruffle one shoulder with embroidered filigree detail walked on stage with flowers…

I thought she was supposed to give them to Jaxon until he went down on one knee…

“Ariana, will you be my girlfriend????”

I staggered backwards, crying profusely, my hand on my mouth…

The room suddenly seemed small and stuffy…I couldn’t breath properly…

Did he say girlfriend???

I ran to his dressing room, grabbed my purse and ran of there…

On my way out, I heard him say, “I am no longer single ladies…”

He is gone..My Jaxon is gone…I lost him..

“Madam, where you are going????” The driver asked me…

“Leave me alone, I will take a cab….”

The cab driver seemed sympathetic, all he did was hand me tissues as I cried like it was the last thing to do..

I looked like a messy scare crow…Smudged lipstick, mascara all over my eyes, my wig and heels in my hands..But I didn’t care..

The words that kept ringing in my head, “Ariana, will you be my girlfriend…”

When we arrived, I ran to the door and the moment Jane opened the door, I hugged her and begun crying on her shoulders…

“I lost him…He is gone…” That was all I was able to say…

The cab driver stood there in rage asking for his money and I could hear Brian reprimanding him while he paid him..

“Don’t you see she is not well, where is humanity??? All you think about is money…” He slammed the door…

I was so weak on the knees that Max had to carry me to the sofa…

“We are sorry dear, we saw what happened with Jaxon..”Jane said…

“What did I do??? Why I am so unlucky in love. When he held me so tight earlier I thought it was just a simple goodbye but I don’t know why it hurts…I thought I could put myself together but I can’t….” I sobbed on her laps as she stroke my hair…

“Here take some water dear…”Max requested but I pushed the glass away..

“Do you want a shot of tequila???”Brian asked and Max slapped his arm..

“Does she look like she needs tequila???”

“I was just being a friend. How will water make her feel better???”Brian sneered…

“Tampons are on an offer. You need to start wearing one. You are a woman in a man’s body..”

They begun arguing and that was the last thing I needed. When I left, Brian had moved in taking my room..

“I need to be alone…”I went to the room and slammed the door close…

The image of Jaxon on his one knee tormenting my mind…